Goosebumps/Transcript

Part 1
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Jon: Alright, just one more candy corn and this masterpiece will finally be complete.

Jon: Sometimes, I have to reason with myself that I'm not that good, that I know, deep down... that I am that good.

Jacques: Jon, can you feel it? Magic is in the air. I'm going back in.

Jon: You bet I can feel it, Jacques, and you know what? It's wasted in here. I'm gonna go share this with the world.

Jon: Hey everyone! Isn't it such a beautiful feeling?

Cab Driver: GET OUT OF THE WAY ASSHOLE!

Jon: Jesus!

Jon: Alright, well, while the outside world may not be so keen on enjoying the spirit of the season, I can always enjoy Halloween from my own living room, and hey, even better with the company of a tight and feathered friend.

Jacques: You can count me in.

Jon: Okay. One.

Jacques: What even?

Jon: I counted you in?

Jacques: Go to fucking hell.

Jon: Goosebumps! Who could forget these classics? These are just the thing to get my spooky nostalgia senses tingling; easy reads for tough-as-nails kids! Yeah, they may look silly on the outside but let me tell you what awaits you within the pages of these books is not for the faint of heart. This stuff was scary for a kid! I mean, who could forget such classics like:

"The Haunted School,"

"The Headless Ghost,"

"You Can't Scare Me,"

"The Cuckoo Clock of Doom,"

"Why I'm Afraid of Bees" (that's less obvious isn't it?)

"Piano Lessons Can Be Murder,"

"The Beast From The East," are we talking like Asia or like Philadelphia? What are we-what are we going for here?

"The Girl Who Cried Monster," oh shit I actually remember this one. This one scared me!

And my personal favorite Halloween-tinged epic, "Attack of the Jack-o-Lanterns"!

Jacques: I'm spooked solid!

Jon: But hey, that's not all! Who could forget the "Goosebumps" TV show?!

Part 2
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