A Talking Cat!?!

A Talking Cat!?! is the fifth episode of season 3 of the JonTron Show. In it, Jon attempts to sit through the titular film. The movie in question, if you can even call it that, is what can loosely be called a story about a cat named Duffy who can talk to people, in an adventure to bring together two families who have zero chemistry with each other and likely would have been perfectly fine having never met.

Filled with stilted acting, a confusing plot riddled with holes and inconsistent "rules" and of course some WACKY EFFECTS!!1!1oneone.

Synopsis
The episode opens with Jon feeding lasagna to a telephone shaped like Garfield. The phone rings and Jon answers, causing the Garfield receiver to open its eyes. Upon putting the phone to his ear, Jon is bombarded by anguished screams of pain. He looks at Garfield, whose eyes were spazzing out. Having realized that he has heavily wounded his feline phone friend, Jon quickly puts the phone back in place.

Jon introduces A Talking Cat!?! (putting extra emphasis on the three punctuation, but not before making a reference to the Talking Tom series of mobile apps, complete with more anguished screaming). The movie's production company had a suspiciously similar logo to that of the Fantastic Four. Jon then takes the moment to show his new logo, a rip off of the Metro Goldwyn Mayer logo, with Jon sitting in the place of the Lion and making his trademark "Ech!" noises from Game Grumps instead of roaring. Beautiful.

The movie itself begins with about a minute of establishing shots and some poor quality narration. Jon is understandably confused as to who is talking. Jon takes the absurdity of the narration itself and makes a skit out of it where he plays a cowboyish director talking about the simple things in life while sitting in the editing bay. An editor (played by Sergio Torres) proceeds to remove his headset and politely informs Jon that his rambling is polluting the audio feed. Jon responds with "You speak when spoken to, maggot!" and then proceeds to knock the editor out by smashing a bottle over his head. The editor was found dead several days later, and the director mysteriously vanished after the incident.

After watching the cat roll around aimlessly during the opening, we're then shown the house of one of the families...which appears decrepit due to the neomodern-art deco-abstract nature of the way the building was made. Not helping is the odd royalty-free piano music played when viewing the exterior. and the dead tree sticking in through the shot. The inside of the place is even worse. It's filled with numerous unorthodox art installations, probably the most eye-catching of them is what appears to be an uprooted double-trunked tree that's been stood upside down with stiletto boot at the ends of each trunk. Phil (the dad) even comments on it, calling it hideous. His genuine read makes Jon believe that the line wasn't even scripted.

Phil then proceeds to go talk to his son, Chris. Chris is reading a magazine when Phil comes up, making car noises and plopping down in a chair that appears to have either been made from or designed after a 60's era station wagon. Chris scoffs at his fathers attempts at being funny and remains stuck up and distant as his father informs him of his retirement. He makes very plain, blanket statements in regards to selling off his website, and it's never properly explained what exactly it was for. Jon mocks his constant uses of "they" and other pronouns to disguise the poorly-written and researched topic. Additionally, Jon is also quick to bring up the standoffish behavior of Chris. There is no reason for him to be acting the way he does.

Jon notes the church music, and how it is noticeably out of place for the film, much like everything else so far.. A girl is calling the son asking for English lessons and he struggles to speak. Jon crushes a banana. Footage of a dam expelling water is shown to demonstrate the situation. None of this returns later in the movie, so you can just forget about it, much like the writers did.

A cat walks by. The son's voice echoes horribly as if it was recorded in the Catacombs. The son randomly asks about talking to girls and the cat reappears, probably to offer some impeccable life advice.

The scene shifts to an evergreen forest now, and a woman has problems with her feet. The woman seems to read her daughter's mind and wants to stop her from going to business college. Jon freaks out, knocking the games off of his shelf. Everyone seems to anticipate the girl talking about going to business college. What a big happy family we've got here! The guy recognizes the cat straight away. The cat food is visible on the ground in front of it.

The voice is confirmed to b the inner monologue of the cat. Its name is Duffy. The man grapples with the poor cat and tries to get it to look somewhere near the camera. Jon is confused as to where the film takes place. The movie shifts back to the woman's house. Jon wonders about how large the laptop is as the girl insults the door frame. How rude. It was right there. The guy isn't very intelligent, and he thinks he is helping by building a fence. The girl says "I know" on the phone a lot.

A cat starts talking to her with level 999 special effects and a script level of 0! Jon puts a picture of the movie poster on his wall as a tribute to this piece of art(?). Jon explains the(vaguely defined and unclear, raise your hand if you're surprised) rules of the talking cat. The woman ignores everything her daughter says. The guy is still working on the fence! Jon wants the movie to be over.

The girl throws her laptop on her bed, and she sees the website of the man from the first part of the movie? The old man has a break down after the cat talked to him. We can all relate to him. Sometimes we just have those moments. He goes on a walk, and the film changes its location again! Did the man walk that far?

The movie makes attempts at jokes. The son is underwhelmed at seeing the cat talking. Jon is seen restrained.

It turns out the woman and man were neighbors, and not on different sides of the planet. They talk about cheese puffs! The man apparently "looks like something the cat dragged in." Get it? The movie's about a cat and they said the cat thing. The woman pulls something out of the oven without gloves. The film gets weird(weirder). The woman is mad about her cheese puffs being dropped. It gets awkward as the woman is mad at him.

The two sons meet up somehow and swim in the pool. The characters all meet up and argue. Jon shows another scene where they scan clothes with a bed light. Jon tries to guess the plot. The man scans the clothes along with the music.

The cat ends up being hit by a car! Jon thought that he missed the point when he first watched it. The characters meet up. Jon is worried about Duffy. Jon points out the bandage over the cat's head. He puts one on himself, and informs the cat that it just needs to take the bandage off! Jon can't believe they tried to pass this off. The cat looks too comfortable.

Several other movies made by the same people are shown on the screen, each with an equal amount of effort and budget.