Anti Drug Games

Jon tries to give Jacques an intervention by showing him some anti-drug games!

Games In Episode

 * NARC (Arcade)
 * Wally Bear and the NO! Gang (NES)

Synopsis
Jon and Jacques look at some pictures on Jon's wall (portraits of the Beatles, albeit with Gordon Shumway replacing Ringo Starr), and Jon wonders if something looks off. A packet of the seed falls to the ground, and Jon asks Jacques if he's been doing seed! Jon needs to get Jacques straight and discusses the war on drugs. There were many arcade games with the slogan "Winners don't do drugs" as well as the DARE campaign.

Jon discusses some of the anti-drug commercials. In addition to the infamous "I learned it by watching you!" and "This is your brain on drugs" adverts, Jon takes note of the time Peewee Herman tried to warn kids about crack cocaine! Jacques still isn't convinced. Jon gets freaked out by a surgeon who is smoking weed on duty ("Here's a list of other things I wouldn't want him doing: anything but my fucking surgery!") and a humanoid snake monster offering drugs. Jacques sees the snake as one of his own, as he is "basically half reptile". Since Jacques still isn't convinced, Jon decides to show Jacques something he can understand. Video games.

Jon begins by talking about NARC. The narcotic officer names are Max Force and Hit Man! It's a shooter! Maybe they were a resisting arrest? Cocaine is popular with the same guy that repeatedly appears! The antagonist is named Mr. Big, and he has a picture on the wall of himself labeled 'Me'! Mr. Big flies out of his wheelchair, and Jon gives it a 10.

Jon has to go to extreme measures, by playing Wally Bear and the NO! Gang. Jacques questions the logic of the game, as the art shows a bear skateboarding without protection. Jon states that this is beside the point and that this is an intervention. The box is weird as it is unlicensed, and there is a button that says Press Here on it. Jon messes with the viewer by pretending it plays a voice clip. It doesn't actually do anything.

Jon discusses the other 'classic' games made by American Video Entertainment like Dudes with Attitude.

Jon looks at the title screen and comments about the bear. The game starts with an anthropomorphic bear riding on a skateboard - but dogs are still dogs, and birds are still birds. This is one of those one hit and you're dead games! Each level is ridiculously long and difficult.

Jon finds a Frisbee or boomerang, and the player can finally kill the endless birds. This whole game is like an ice level, and it has platforming! Some levels can be skipped over easily with the boomerang, and it gives an extra hit. But losing it makes the game practically impossible. Jon is confused by the plot about a rat trying to make a turtle join his gang by taking some pills, but there is only a rabbit on the screen!

Another level, which looks exactly like the last one, and there are multiple subway connections to get to the destination. Jon complains about the dad not wearing pants again. This subway is a castle! There is a guy constantly dropping bombs out of his window! Couldn't Wally have picked a better part of town to do down?

Jon finds more plot, and finds another character he has no context for drinking before a message appears saying that not even adults should drink and drive! Apparently, there are a lot of children who drink and drive! Jon finds Larry, and accidentally kills him!

Jon is confused by the existence of the snake cave and finds it impossible, as there are pitfalls everywhere. The game never explains anything, and Jon finds everything weird. Jon starts to rage at the out of place fortress level, and only one door is the way out. Another character warns not to take candy from strangers, but after what Jon has just been through, he would rather take the candy!

Jon finds what looks like a crack den. The windows are broken, and it looks abandoned, and the neighbor's building has been blown up. Jon reaches the uncle's house. There is a trophy on the wall, and the uncle isn't wearing pants either! The uncle says that Wally has bought a new friend, and Jon thinks that it is he who is the new friend. The ending is just one image.

Jon is anxious after beating the game and decides to just smoke instead. Jon comments that the urn he used in this episode cost a lot of money, and has Jacques and Cinnamon on him.