Titenic

Jon reviews games about Titanic, one one of which is called Titenic.

Synopsis
Jon is at a boat sitting on the dock. He is on the phone, saying that he doesn't think a game about boats that haven't sunk yet would work, and Shows a copy of Call of Duty: Sunk Boats DLC which apparently sold really well. Someone decided it was a good idea to make a game about Titanic! Jon talks about how horrible of an idea it was, and compares it to making a game about Pompeii!

With Titanic: Adventure out of Time, Jon can see where they were coming from. It is a point and click adventure, and feels like a 90's atmospheric PC game vibe. There is a woman who talks and appears to be missing a few frames of her mouth moving. Jon freaks out. Jon checks out some of the other people on the ship.

Jon finds a bootleg Famicom game about Titanic: The Movie! Jon discusses how successful the movie was, and is confused as to how this Chinese bootleg came into existence. Who was this game marketed to? This game came out after the Nintendo 64 was released! No one would buy that! Jon puts the cartridge into his Famicom and puts it into a fish tank and watches it sink!

You can pick from Rose or Jack, and Jon thinks that Rose would be a better option, knowing how the movie pans out. He decides to go with Jack anyway. Jack's name has blood splattered on it! Jon hasn't even touched the controller yet, and Jack has a lot of idle animations! This game barely has any controls, and Jon rants about it. He dies to a rat!

Jon can't find out how to attack. Picking up hearts gives the player life savers - what gives him hearts? Jon gets stuck on a level with spikes all over the floor and can't progress. Getting a Game Over sinks the ship! Jon has never felt so guilty about seeing a game over screen. Rose picks up her dress as she jumps.

Surely there wasn't a second company that was crazy enough to make a Titanic game. Jon finds the other Titanic game on a 15 in 1 cartridge. He takes the Titanic cartridge game out of the Famicom (which is still in the fish tank!) and replaces it with the 15 in 1 cart.

Sometimes when loading the game, it gives the game list in Chinese, sometimes in English, and sometimes it doesn't have the entire game list! The game is split into two separate games. Jack's is called Hacker, and Rose's is the Heroine.

The title screen says 'Titenic '! Jon sings a slightly altered version of 'I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)'. Jon complains that people probably thought that he made a mistake when making the title for the episode. Jon reads the poorly written introduction, which again misspells Titanic!

Jack beats up all the people on the ship in this game. Jon thinks that Jack killed all those people, not the iceberg. This game actually controls well. Jack draws as he did in the movie. This is accurate to the movie! The chef begins to fight Jack. Jack picks up lobsters and wine for health! This is the most bougie of beat 'em ups! (Jon is dressed in formal attire complete with monocle). Jon comments on the cobras that are everywhere!

They act like they don't see the punches coming too. The lifesavers try to kill Jack - the opposite of what a life saver should do! Both of these Titanic games inappropriately use lifesavers! Jon then plays as Rose and a flying eggplant! Jon defeats Herman Munster.

The end credits are shown.

Jon is back on the phone at the boat, and decides that the game won't work out, and decides to make an HD Remix for Schindler's List instead.