This video has a transcript page. View it here: Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts/Transcript.
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (not to be confused with the game of the same name) is the 16th episode of the JonTron Show. In it, Jon reviews the infamous third game in the beloved Banjo-Kazooie series. Torture, loss, and vicious battles ensue.
This episode was, and in some respect, still is, one of Jon's most popular and critically acclaimed videos. His comedic antics, passion for the industry as a whole, and so much more was properly thrust unto the world of YouTube by this video. It would remain fairly uncontested in popularity up until the release of the video Waterproofing My Life With FLEX TAPE.
Jon stands outside one day, admiring the beauty of the current day. He asks Rockington for input, only to realize Rockington isn't there because Jon somehow lost him. Meanwhile, in outer space, the Starfox Adventures game disk that Jon launched into space several episodes prior, collides with the Banjo-Kazooie case seen in the end credits of the said prior episode and sends it spiraling down towards Earth.
Back on Earth, Jon forgets why he was standing outside in the first place and begins walking back inside, not knowing the impending object about to crash in his yard. Right before he gets back inside, the game lands in his yard, creating a small crater and knocking Jon off his feet.
Jon gets back on his feet and picks up the game. Realizing what it is he quickly runs inside. He tells Jacques that he can finally "lay the nightmare to rest", which can be inferred to be the game's infamous reputation. Jacques, fearing for Jon and the rest of the world's safety, wipes Jon's mind so he wouldn't play it. Unfortunately, this backfires, as Jon simply sees the game and becomes eager to play it, grabbing Jacques and heading into the game room to try it out.
Jon eagerly begins to open the game's case, only for Jacques to blast the game apart with his laser eyes. Jon becomes understandably frustrated and begins to sob and rant over Jacques's bad behavior. However, after finding a Donkey Kong Country cart on his closet shelf, he begins to reminisce on RareWare and their old titles. He briefly goes into a retrospective on Rare and talks about how they could take on nearly any genre of video games and nail it on the head. He remembers Donkey Kong Country with its awesome graphics. He lists all of his favorite SNES and Nintendo 64 Rare games. Of course, he discusses the original Banjo-Kazooie game, Rare's spearhead title, and their take on the collect-a-thon genre. He notes that the concept is looked on in a more derogatory mindset nowadays, but he excuses Banjo-Kazooie because it's well-built to make collecting part of the adventure, making it engaging.
Jon, still angry with Jaques, states that, if he can't play the new one, the old one will have to do. He pops the cartridge in, only for it to go in tilted. He jams the cartridge in place, which inexplicably causes the shattered remains of the Nuts & Bolts case to repair itself. Jon makes a break for the case, Jacques attempts to destroy it once more. Jon reflects Jaques's laser with a mirror, causing Jacques to self-destruct. Jon briefly gloats about killing Jacques before getting confused by his own metaphor. Jon opens the game up only to realize that things were not as sunny as they seemed. The game spat out fire and skulls before launching itself into the console, locking Jon into his seat.
Jon, strapped to his chair, suddenly remembers that the game is terrible, and yells in agony. He picks up the controller and begins to play. Jon finally introduces the game and discusses the musical references to the older games. He also notes the nostalgia he has for Spiral Mountain, the game's opening stage. Once the characters come into play, Jon notes the heavy irony in the idea that Banjo and Kazooie are fat and washed up after eight years of inactivity. Gruntilda shows up and Jon is forced to control the duo to find her. Upon them meeting, Jon gets excited for a battle to ensure, only for it to be interrupted by the game pausing.
Jon's game, as it turns out, was paused by a character in the game, L.O.G. or "Lord of Games". He notes that this is very different from the subtle fourth-wall-breaking that previous Banjo-Kazooie games got away with. The LOG character lampshades the collect-a-thon nature of the older games by referring to the collectibles as "pointless". This strikes ire in Jon. LOG then states that modern gamers don't want collect-a-thons and, instead, LOG decides to make the game a vehicle-centric game instead. Jon is heartbroken at this revelation.
Begins ranting about the game's setting, presentation, and obese overworld. After entering the first world, he notices the obese and confusing nature of it and notes that it's reminiscent of the original game's large worlds, but he also notes that it's size and expansiveness is rendered null due to the change in genre. He reveals that he can accept the shift in genre, but altering the game concept while keeping the same basic level designs is the wrong way to go about change.
Jon, who cannot take any more, activates Jacques's self-revive mechanism and uses him to regain his mirror. The Xbox shoots a fireball, but he is able to deflect it and get it back into its case. He then ties the game to rock and flings it into the ocean, believing himself to have saved the world. As the credits begin rolling, shoddily animated bird sprites resembling Jacques and Kazooie are seen flying in the sunset, foreshadowing Jon's next review.
"Oh yeah. I lo... I lost Rockington. I... I lost a ROCK!" - JonTron
"Oh hey Jacques why are you green?" - JonTron upon having his memory erased
"Please register me." - Jaques
"Mountains can't be friends." - JonTron upon seeing Spiral Mountain
"STOP! STOP IT! STOP TAUNTING ME!" - Jon when he hears Conker's Bad Fur Day music
"Ohhhhhmmm. I'm in da treesh. How did I get dere?" - Jon playing as Banjo in the trash
"AAAAAND IIIIIIII, HOLY SHIT, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!" Jontron singing.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have plucked a whale from the ocean and he sounds like a seal!" - Jon while wondering what to do in-game
"I mean, what if after Super Mario World, Nintendo teased a trailer for Super Mario 64, and on release day it's MARIO CITY SIMULATOR! You turn on the game and Shigeru Miyamoto's ghost is like "Ahh fuckin, who likes the old Mario games AM I RIGHT?! BRB MAKING LEGEND OF ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!"- Jon talking about the changes made to the game
- The Star Fox Adventures episode is referenced in this review, as the disc that Jon threw into space caused the game to be discovered by Jon.
- Jacques is shown having the ability to wipe people's memories and repair himself, even though he is blasted into ash.
- He also appears to know far more about evil video games than Jon in this episode.
- This is the first episode where JonTron doesn't wear his signature hat, which was a change that stuck after the release of "King's Quest V+ Mailman", probably due to wanting to look a bit more casual.
- The golden bands that appear on Jon's wrists parody a genie's shackles.
- Jon makes multiple comparisons to other franchises while playing the game.
- Jon calls Showdown Town a "bad Counter-Strike map."
- How Banjo enters the levels looks similar to how Mario enters some levels in Super Mario Sunshine.
- Fallout 3 is compared due to how empty the levels are.
- Jon only looks at one level and the hub from the game in his entire review.
- The rock that Jon uses to throw the game into the sea looks similar to Rockington.
- The reason for Rockington's absence is due to Jon legitimately misplacing him. Jon still hasn't found him and it's assumed he remains in California while Jon now lives in New York.
- Jon uses several actual songs within the review:
- The scene where Jon compares LOG to actual logs has a snipped of Initial D's "Runnin' In The 90s".
- The scene immediately following is the first instance of Jon using the song, "Ghost Love Score" by Nightwish. He would use it again in a much later episode.
- Jon sings the song, "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston following his introduction to the game's vehicle orientation.
- The ending parodies the ending of Birdemic: Shock and Terror.
- This is one of a few episodes to use CGI in the editing, as seen when the Banjo-Kazooie case is shattered and reassembled.
- The credits that appear during the ending read:
- Directed By Jon Jafari
- Produced By Jon Jafari