This video has a transcript page. View it here: Foodfight!/Transcript.
This is a review JonTron did of the bad and poorly-animated movie, Foodfight.
Jon is standing at a train station and is spooked as the train goes past. He walks into a store and finds a copy of Foodfight that has been there for one million years. When he plays it at home, he realizes that this is that film that was supposed to come out over a decade ago.
There are way too much information and characters hitting Jon at once to figure out what is going on. Eventually, we meet Dex, the main character (who is voiced by Charlie Sheen). Jon gives him a 10 for his leap and comments on the fact that that is the only 10 this movie will get. Dex's sidekick Dan (Wayne Brady) is a squirrel made of chocolate who shits through his eyes! Jon is freaked out by Sunshine (Hilary Duff) and doesn't know how to look at her, before having to figure out the bizarre plot points that are never mentioned. Jon wonders whether the film uses Toy Story rules or Fountain rules (where there are no rules). It's Fountain rules. The whole film really isn't for kids, it's full of sexual innuendo.
Jon starts using his Hot or Not app and concludes that PeanutButterGamer and Jacques are hot, but dinosaur bones have been in the ground too long. Suddenly, Paul appears coming out of the DVD case. He is amazed by the fact that Jon got past the 20-minute mark. He warns Jon to hide as Mr. Clean (brentalfloss) will appear soon. Mr. Clean arrives and chases Paul away. Jon can only watch this unfold. The movie has a 35-minute long food fight, which just copies the same scene over and over. Jon concludes that the morale of the story is that ugly people only lose. Jon wonders how this $65 million film could have been made.
- Though never explicitly stated in the video, Dex is the mascot for a cinnamon breakfast cereal, oddly colored blue and purple.
- When Jon is listing some of the mascots, he says Charlie the Sunkist tuna. The actual name of the company is StarKist, not Sunkist. Sunkist itself is a fruit flavored soda pop.
- In the fake credits Jon puts together after Dex injures himself, he misspells Lawrence Kasanoff's name by adding an extra "s", and Hilary Duff's name by adding an extra "l".
- JonTron makes a cameo in the intro of Nostalgia Critic's 2014 Halloween special, who also did a review of this film. The intro parodies the Halloween films and is shot from Jons point of view. He stabs and kills the critic before removing his mask and stating, "That's for reviewing Food Fight." then after being knocked out by the "Nostalgiaween" logo.